


Texting Sherlock Holmes

by nsalmon



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2014-02-24
Packaged: 2018-01-13 14:49:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1230451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nsalmon/pseuds/nsalmon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one-shots comprised of Sherlock and John texting each other (the title itself is explanatory, I should think)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Texting Sherlock Holmes

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I posted a couple of these on Tumblr a while ago, so I'm sure they're floating around there somewhere, but I did actually write them, just, you know, FYI. Enjoy, and thanks!

**April 17 th.**

_John—come home now. Need an extra set of hands for this experiment._ –SH

 _Why don’t you use the set you’ve been keeping in the fridge? Should be next to the mustard, if I remember correctly._ –JW

**April 18 th.**

_What does L.O.L. stand for?_ –SH

 _Lots of Little children (are in my van)._ –JW

 _Why would someone respond with that after I’d told them a joke? I don’t have children._ –SH

 _I’m joking. Laugh Out Loud._ –JW

 _Don’t tell me what to do, John._ –SH

 _No, you big sod, LOL means laugh out loud as in ‘what you just said made me laugh out loud’. Have you had your IQ tested lately? I think you’ve dropped a few points after drinking the results of your last experiment._ –JW

 _I was assured by two medical professionals that the mixture was safe to drink._ –SH

 _Doctor Who doesn’t count, Sherlock._ –JW

 _Doctor who?_ –SH

 _Never mind._ -JW

**April 20 th.**

_I need more nicotine patches._ –SH

 _There’s money in the top left kitchen cupboard in the jar. Should be enough for a box or two._ –JW

 _Are you absurd? I can’t leave the flat now; I’m thinking._ –SH

 _And I’m thinking that you need to get off your arse and go to the store. Do you even remember what London looks like in daylight?_ –JW

 _Of course. We have windows here. Although to be quite honest I usually can’t be bothered to look outside._ –SH

 _I’d stay well away from the windows if I were you. If any sunlight hits you, I’d say you’re likely to burst into flames._ –JW

 _I suppose this is another one of those statements you make that has nothing to do with the situation which I’m to consider a ‘joke.’_ –SH

 _Don’t kid yourself._ –JW

 _Ah, John. I don’t even know why I bother with the patches; your rapier wit is enough to keep me constantly on my toes._ –SH

 _But if you could get some from the store on your way home I’d be much obliged._ –SH

 _No, you won’t. But I’ll get some anyway, you big sod._ –JW

 _Thanks._ –SH

**April 21st.**

_When I come home from work, that head had better be gone from the fridge._ –JW

 _I will remove the head from the fridge._ –SH

 _Thanks._ –JW

**Later.**

_Sherlock, why the hell is there a head sitting in my chair?_ –JW

 _Get over to the flat and get it out. Right now._ –JW

 _You told me to get it out of the fridge. I did._ –SH

 _Get it out of here. Now._ –JW

 _I’m in the middle of something. I’ll be in later. Make do with my chair for now._ –SH

 _Actually, don’t. Your stupidity might infect it._ –SH

 _Sod off. We’re having a discussion about this head when you get home._ –JW

 _But I’m using it for an experiment!_ –SH

 _Sherlock. There. Is. A. Human. Head. In. My. Chair. That is NOT okay._ –JW

 _Fine. Toss it in the bin._ –SH

 _Shouldn’t we bury it or something?_ –JW

 _That sounds like a splendid idea. Mrs. Hudson’s former cats will finally have some company._ –SH

 _Not in our backyard, you idiot. In a graveyard or something._ –JW

 _Dull._ -SH 


End file.
